Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Doubts..And Emotions Behind Eating

Being a new post-op, I have certainly had my moments of doubt about this surgery. I have failed so many times at diets...or rather, succeeded at the diet, failed at the long-term maintenance. I have been in therapy pretty much since I was 12 years old, when I was diagnosed as anorexic. I have worked (mentally/emotionally) on my food issues for many, many years. I have a lot of insight into the reasons I ate...but still not the ability to STOP myself from doing it.

One of the things that I think has been really important for me to recognize in myself in choosing RNY is that I needed the physical tool to help me STOP eating. I think that if the reasons we eat (emotional) go unchecked and unexamined, we run the risk of failing at this as well.

Another reason why this was the right choice for me is because I need and want to deal with my emotions and emotional reasons for eating. It is part of my process as a developing and evolving human being...I want to be better, not just physically but mentally...better able to live and cope with life. I think my tool is helping me learn how to do that because I can't hide behind food or fat anymore.

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