Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Week In Review

It's been kind of a wild ride this week. Zachary and I baked cookies last weekend. Aren't they beautiful? He did such a fantastic job decorating them.

I love to bake/cook, and so does Zachary. The problem for me, however, is that I don't have any self-control when it comes to homemade cookies. When we bake that means the "profits" need to be given away as quickly as possible. But, as is typically the case, I didn't get rid of enough of them or get rid of them quickly enough. I ate way too many cookies...the evil little things that they are. I had the joy of experiencing a lovely dumping episode on Monday evening that, once resolved, I felt good for abut half an hour before the predictable sugar crash ensued. The sugar crash post-dumping is almost as bad as dumping itself for me. Did I learn? Not exactly. Last night, we had a ladies night out/clothing swap. There were so many really yummy things there, and I made the mistake of trying them...which meant I liked them...which meant I ate them...more than in moderation...and so I spent a good hour and a half at the party quietly wanting to die because I felt so queasy. And then, on the tail end of the ride home the sugar crash set in.

I spent some time last night thinking "tomorrow, I'm doing protein shakes only to get myself back on track." And then this morning I thought "how is that healthy? You screwed up. Just STOP doing what you're doing and start eating as you should. JUST DO IT." So, that's where I am this morning. It really is hard sometimes to halt that internal voice that wants me to resort to diet mentality. I know that I'm not going to perfect every day, every week, for the rest of my life...I have to learn how to rebound from this crap without chastising myself endlessly OR making excuses for continuing to be lax. Sometimes I think "cripes, I've only been at goal for 2 months...I've got the whole rest of my life that I will do battle with this back and forth crap." I can't think in those terms...because although they're accurate, that's just too big of a chunk of time to manage in my mind. I don't know...maybe I'm just babbling right now.

Yesterday Zachary and I went on a really nice hike with one of my coworkers/friends and his son and some friends of theirs. Zachary had so much fun having two other little boys to keep up with. I certainly enjoyed the beautiful day, the physical activity and the ability to actually manage a hike after so much time where I couldn't. This is us at the summit of Wachusett Mountain. It was really such a beautiful day.

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