Monday, Monday

I'm not ready for the weekend to be over. I want a do-over so I can have two more days off. Is that possible? *sigh*

As for my date Friday, it went well. I'm not going to say too much more than that. Yes, I'm still afraid of jinxing it. He reads my blog from time to time, and well, I have to keep some mystery going on some things, don't I? Yes, another date is planned.

My very long-time friend Susan had her 40th birthday yesterday. I have mine the end of this month. We were talking about how much we've kind of been dreading it until the past few weeks. It seems we've both adopted the attitude of "hey, I'm 40, I'll do what I want, say what I want, feel what I want, like it or lump it." She's waiting to see how much trouble that gets her into...I personally just don't much care at this point. Trouble, here I come.

Mother's Day was nice. We went up to my brother and sister-in-law's and had an afternoon dinner with them. Zachary made me a lovely "MOM" banner of paper in my favorite color, decorated and cut out by him. It is now affixed to my door and looks awesome. And I had the loveliest card from him as well. He even made cards for me from the cats and from all of our Webkinz. He told me he loved me at least 10 times yesterday, assuring me each and every time that it was mother's day you know. I asked him if he wouldn't be telling me as much if it wasn't, and he said "well, I usually only tell you once a day." Not entirely true, but no matter...he can tell me he loves me any time he wants. It comes with wonderful hugs and kisses and that makes me happy.

Back to the dating thing...ok, so it's a good thing that I am direct and blunt with people in my life as well as in my blog or else this could get sticky. But because I'm direct and honest, there are no surprises to folks in my day to day life. I feel scared of caring too much...of opening up my heart and being hurt. I'm doing my best to go with the flow and enjoy every moment, but I gotta admit, the anxiety is not something I enjoy. I'm tired of thinking "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved" is a way of life. It's possible to love and NOT lose, isn't it???