It's been a while...just over a year, actually. I completed my third semester of Respiratory Care and will graduate May 24, 2012. It's hard to believe it's close to two years since I was laid off and changed career directions. School has been an awesome challenge and has led to so much growth personally, intellectually, and to be honest, waist-line wise. Regain has become a very difficult issue for me to contend with.
After the triathlon in August 2010, when I fractured my ankle, exercise became more of a challenge than ever. Coupled with school demands, mothering demands, and financial demands, it basically came to a complete halt. I'm fat again...and it hurts in so many ways. My self-confidence has taken the biggest hit, and I find myself wanting to hide from people again...except in the professional sense because I can't. My peers (classmates) and educators, as well as patients, require my physical presence. But for all those who haven't seen me in a while? Well, I'm content to not make dates to get together.
I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I have not had my regularly scheduled annual post-op visits. I have not maintained appointments with Heart and Wellness, though I've run into Melinda a few times at Union Hospital where I do my clinical. I try to tell myself that it will be different once school is over and there is an income again, and it's not so much nose-to-the-grindstone with school work. But, I don't know if I'm just kidding myself. In my loneliness, I've resorted to both food and alcohol for comfort and companionship...and I haven't quite figured how to get myself out.
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3 comments:
Hi Amy,
Please don't give up. I know exactly how you feel. I had my surgery a little over 2 years ago and have regained 30 pounds due to alcohol and food abuse. I don't think anyone realizes how much of an emotional eater they are until after the surgery. Turning to alcohol when you're stressed is easy because it takes so little to make everything SEEM so much easier.
I've been struggling myself on how to regain control. Do we go back to square one with the protein shakes? Or maybe we start with food journaling and then add in exercise. I don't know the answer. Or maybe we know the answer but are too afraid of the hard work it will take to do it.
I'm just saying don't give up and know you're not alone. I'm dealing with the exact same stuff!
If you ever want to talk more, you can email me at missyjennings33@gmail.com
Hi Amy!
This part is so painful and my biggest fear. I already had lapband surgery a year ago, haven't lost anything since March and have already gained back 20lbs.
I'm in the process of having a revision to the sleeve.
I am a full time working mother who is also taking classes so I know how life can get. Don't focus on being perfect and changing everything all at once.
Take the first step though. Call Heart and Wellness, make an appointment. Call your surgeon and have your checkup.
Start journaling. I've been loving myfitnesspal.com as it has a great iPhone app for tracking on the go.
Go to the next post op support group meeting.
If you need to talk, please email me at nancykerins@gmail.com.
Hi Amy!
This part is so painful and my biggest fear. I already had lapband surgery a year ago, haven't lost anything since March and have already gained back 20lbs.
I'm in the process of having a revision to the sleeve.
I am a full time working mother who is also taking classes so I know how life can get. Don't focus on being perfect and changing everything all at once.
Take the first step though. Call Heart and Wellness, make an appointment. Call your surgeon and have your checkup.
Start journaling. I've been loving myfitnesspal.com as it has a great iPhone app for tracking on the go.
Go to the next post op support group meeting.
If you need to talk, please email me at nancykerins@gmail.com.
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