The Bowels Of Hell

No, seriously...my bowels are demons. Or at least they have their demons. They are being very stubborn right now and not moving things along...except lots of squeaky gas (think of letting air out of a balloon, the opening of which you're pinching very tightly and pulling taught...that's how gas is passing out of my bum right now...I know, I share too much). All of my usual stuff is going in...food, supplements, fiber, Colace, Enulose, and it ain't coming out. I think this is what led to my horrible 1 a.m. to 2 a.m. pain last night/this morning. It started out as a burning kind of pain all across my mid-section. And then, it turned into a full-blown doubled-over kind of pain for about an hour. I took a Tums to no avail, and so then I tried three Mylanta Gas tablets. My thoughts were "if this doesn't stop in the next hour, if I can take it that long, I'm calling the surgical number to see who is on call and get their opinion because this SUCKS." My throat is still really sore from the breathing tube used during Tuesday's surgery and I can't help but feel like this has just all irritated my pouch to no end. Then there is of course my very lazy bowel that even with oodles of assistance, refuses to move things along. And that in turn leads me to have somewhat panicky thoughts about what actually having my first post-fissurectomy/sphincterotomy BM will be like. Pat said I'd likely be taking Dr. B's name in vain. Amazingly, I did pass a very small amount this morning and there was ZERO pain involved. Not little, ZERO. It hurts more to do a Kegel than it did to pass this small stool. I think I'd gotten so used to extreme pain when I had BMs that I forgot they're not supposed to hurt. (They aren't, right?)

Anyway, I had to get on the scale with a package today (the only scale large enough to weigh it) and so I know that I'm up 4.5 lbs. of pure poop. Great. I hope it all starts moving along soon. The bloat alone is killing me. Ugh.