Delays, Delays, Delays

Today, the weight loss surgery team met and discussed my case. They have not outright denied me at this time from having the surgery, but they are delaying me. They want me to participate in the Pre-Op Risk Reduction Program, run by the NSMC Heart and Wellness Center, who also runs the post-operative program I would need to attend as well. It includes nutritional counseling, cognitive strategies, dietary changes, etc.

Because I still have some issues with depression, and am going through a bunch of things to try and resolve that, and one of the biggest issues is my chronic insomnia, they want to make sure my medication is stable/unchanging, and hope that additionally my degree of depression can be lessened. In addition, because of my history of eating disorders, and because as recently as last year I went off a diet (Medifast) cold turkey (after mom died), without transitioning to regular food again, and as a result gained significant weight, they don't feel certain that I wouldn't respond similarly under great stress and eat compulsively. Their concern then becomes "will she overeat beyond the point of pain? Will she rupture her staples and pouch?" It's not that I don't understand their concerns...it just feels very much like having been totally honestly about my past is a penalty. Pat (the coordinator) assured me that it was not...if their answer at this point was an outright no, she could see how I would feel that way...but they aren't saying that.

That's where things stand. I was pretty upset when she told me. The tears wouldn't stop falling and the sobbing took a while to subside, which absolutely stinks when you're at work, trying to keep things quiet because you're in a cube where everyone three rows over can hear you. My boss came by because we were supposed to meet as a team to go over some stuff...I had to apologize and tell him I needed a few minutes. This too shall pass, and I'll be better prepared for all of this anyway.

It is help...not in the exact form I wanted right now, but it will be helpful nonetheless.