Egg Over Easy

I meet with Melinda (the Nutritionist) next Tuesday (YEAH! solid foods here I come). I met with Dr. B. last week. He said I could try an egg, scrambled, hard boiled, whatever. I tried scrambled on Saturday. Got about halfway through and really felt done. Had an over easy egg Sunday and got probably three quarters of the way through that and felt done. Yesterday, I had a hard boiled egg, and finished it all. I felt satisfied and done when it was gone...not over full, but definitely full. And I found myself wondering if I should have been able to eat that much. Should a whole egg be too much food at this point? Should 1/2 a cup of small curd cottage cheese eaten over a period of 20 minutes be too much if it isn't making me uncomfortable?

So I called and talked to Melinda. She said that yup, I should be able to fit a whole egg (and probably little more), and that 1/2 cup of small curd cottage cheese is fine too. She said I was doing great, that next week we'd get me on even more different foods (YEAH!!!). She said it's really just getting the stomach/pouch re-acclimated to food, which is why it felt so different (kind of odd/strange) the first time I had egg and stopped so soon, and got a little farther the second day, and then finished the egg on the third. I feel relieved.

Back from Post-op Visit

Back from my post-op visit with Dr. B and all is well. My blood pressure is a little on the low side so he may want me to change my daily migraine medication from a long-acting to short-acting dosage if it doesn't improve. My incisions are healing, although a little slowly. The painful "lump" that I have under my largest incision is from a very deep and tight stitch bunching up tissue. He said it will just take time for it to release. Two of my other incisions have scratchy internal sutures that have come to the surface. He said those will dissolve in time. According to his scale, I've lost 18 lbs. in 4 weeks, including my pre-op liquid diet. He seemed happy. And yippee, in another week he said I could try a scrambled or hard-boiled egg if I'm desperate for something. I don't think I've ever hankered for an egg quite this way before.

Two Weeks Post-op

Two weeks post-op. I’ve lost 11 lbs. I think I’m doing pretty good. I’m tired, very, very tired and still kind of sore in the tummy. But I’m getting in all my protein, all my water. The fatigue is pretty bad, but I haven’t taken any pain meds in a few days…not even at night to help me sleep. I’m still having some issues with insomnia. It kicked up again right after surgery.

Home After Surgery

I have been home since Thursday evening. I have a 6.5 year old little boy who has some anxiety issues, and has been very, very relieved that mom is home and doing fine. He tries very hard to let me rest, but after 20 minutes he forgets and comes and talks to me, so I haven't had a nap during the day since I've been home. I tried to arrange for play dates over the weekend for him to get out, and none of his friends were available. My friend came over to take him out for a bit and he refused to go. So, I have had no down time. I'm weepy.

I have a brother and sister-in-law. They kept my son overnights (when he wasn't in day camp) last week while I was in the hospital three nights. Since I've been home, it's kind of like they're "done" with assisting me. They took us to the grocery store yesterday (Sunday), but other than that, we haven't seen them since Thursday evening. They know that I haven't gotten any naps in (they say "I'm sorry" but never offer to take him off my hands for any amount of time). For some reason, this is the week they've decided they need to start house hunting and so, that is what they did all weekend. And my brother is excited and calls to tell me about the houses they saw, etc. etc. And I try to listen and be cheerful and supportive...but I am tired and growing resentful that my friends (thankfully) have been more understanding of me needing rest than my family (he and my sister-in-law) have been.

My mom passed away May 2006 unexpectedly...she was a huge helping hand with my son. He's refusing to go to camp today and I don't have it in me to fight with him about it. I was supposed to start back at work half days working from home this week, but I'm still taking some pain medication to help me sleep and I can't really function the way I need to when I'm on that stuff. I feel alone and I want to cry...I thankfully do not want to eat, but I feel sad and overwhelmed and alone.

Surgery Day!

Today is the day! I got Zachary off to camp this morning and my friend Phyllis will be here shortly to take me to the hospital. I’m glad she’ll be there with me. I know she can’t wait with me before I go in, but just knowing that she is there and will talk to my surgeon and pass along how I did to my friends and family is reassuring. She and I have talked about this quite a bit and she also is one to help keep me positive.

I have been excited and scared at the same time, and I’ve really tried hard to focus on the positive and do a lot of visualization of a wonderful procedure and outcome. But when I think about the potential for something to go wrong and what that would mean in terms of leaving Zachary without a mom, well, I get very teary and scared. So, I’ve had to talk myself out of that kind of thinking every time it creeps in. And Phyllis is really good about keeping me on track that way. I realize there are risks with this (or any) surgery. But I have done absolutely everything I can to prepare my mind and body for this…I have to trust that I’m ready and everything will be fine. I’ve lost 11 lbs. on the pre-op liquid diet. I plan to tell Dr. B. that I didn’t cheat even once…which I didn’t, because I want my liver to be the smallest liver he’s ever seen.